I don't understand why people say and do shit towards other people that make them feel like they don't belong and then when the shit hits the fan they tell the person that they care. My Company found out that I had plans for suicide. Everyone talked to me telling me that they care and that there is nothing in life that is worth taking your own. It's funny, about 90% of the people that talked to me were the ones who most of the shit talking before hand. I really don't understand it. The Marine Corps knew that I had Major Clinical Depression and an anxiety disorder before we deployed out here to Iraq and still they did nothing about it. Now they say that they care. They only care because if I take my life that would look bad on them and they would get investigated. That is the only reason why they care. Now they are "trying" to make me "better". They never gave a shit to try before why should they try now? Why should they step in now? Don't they know that it is already too late? Don't they understand that they can't take the past away? They think that they can make everything better by telling me they care when a week ago I heard "You're fucking retarded". Now all I hear is "How are you?" and "How is your family?". They never gave a shit before about my family. They never gave a shit about me. They only care about themselves. They talk all this shit about "troop welfare" and I see none of it. Fuck all of them! Fuck them for every bit of hurt they caused me! Fuck them for casting me out! Fuck them... just fuck them!

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