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"CONSPIRACY NEWS... The Six-Out you never knew" by TheBardOfBlasphemy

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Dark poets from every corner of this stinking globe have asked the following question at some time or another:
How is it that Six-Out can write so many poems and still find time to heap shit on mine?

The answer is complex and took a mighty effort of investigative journalism* but this effort has been rewarded with the bowel-splattering truth.

The Six-Out that we all know and love/hate (please circle/cross out/piss on one option) is not actually one person. He is not even two persons.

First, allow me to introduce the man you have met in the chat-box... the man who occasionally dumps a steaming load on your latest and greatest.

Six-Out was born into a moderately wealthy and highly pretentious family as Ferdinand Albertus Georgio Mandrake Alsonso Neocon. His special talent for "wooing" board directors saw Ferdinand's rapid rise through the corporate ranks. Timely investments in the porn and petroleum industries realised Ferdinand's dream of becoming an oil tycoon. At the tender age of twenty-three, everything was as he had planned...

Time wearied Ferdinand. There is, after all, only so much coke you can sniff out of a bimbo's boob-crack before it all starts to taste the same. He needed a new challenge.

Near the end of the 20th century Ferdinand joined DarkPoetry and assumed his current alias. His sole aim was to torment the undernourished minds of struggling poets with bitter sarcasm and occasional offers of gay sex.

The only question remaining is: Where do Six-Out's poems come from? Rich people, after all, are too busy being rich to bother being creative. Just look at Britney Spears.

In Six-Out's case, he has a special farm house where (far from prying eyes) he keeps two thousand illiterate Mexicans chained to typewriters and fed an intravenous drip of opium-laced tequila.

Sporadically, a masterpiece is produce by these sweatshop workers, but mostly they just type bullshit.




It's the latter which gets posted here...


















* - Investigative journalism comprised of going through Six-Out's trash, his porn stash, and his mum's underwear drawer.





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Copying this work to another webpage without author permission is plagiarism.
Plagiarism is a misdemeanor, usually punishable by fines of $100-$50000 and up to one year in jail.




If you [Log In] as a member you can discuss this work with others

On Monday March 6th, 2006, Kinkypoptart (765) writes:
wow... said all the things i've imagined about the man behind the six-out mask. Great work ~*~Tart~*~


On Friday September 23rd, 2005, Butterfly (122) writes:
I knew it. *Shrugs* oh well. you definately made me giggle a little bit with this one. :)


On Friday August 26th, 2005, Lydia Jade (790) writes:
no shock or surprise there...


On Friday August 26th, 2005, ApathysKiss (463) writes:
hahaha brilliant, bard! lmao ~michelle


On Friday August 26th, 2005, elisa (2018) writes:
just because he's covered in petroleum jelly and watching porn doesn't mean he's an oil tycoon...........that just makes him a greasy pervert;).......Ferdinand...lol


On Friday August 26th, 2005, elisa (2018) writes:
'..........i would, my friend, Fernando.....'.......disco......ABBA :P


On Friday August 26th, 2005, sIo (892) writes:
my six....


On Friday August 26th, 2005, Trail of Fiends (37) writes:
Someone give this man an award. Any.


On Friday August 26th, 2005, MelvinOliverDrauma (553) writes:
"There is, after all, only so much coke you can sniff out of a bimbo's boob-crack before it all starts to taste the same" I hope you don't mind but I am going to have to intagrate this phrase into my everyday vocabulary now


On Friday August 26th, 2005, glasshouse (801) writes:
Eh, this is old news. I knew this so very long ago. Glad its out though. The secret was weighin on my shoulders. -Glass


On Friday August 26th, 2005, King_Crazy_Dave (422) writes:
*gears up with piano wire pistols shotguns and grenades* you have made a mistake speaking these un-truths about Master Ferdinand. Did you not think he had his own killing force? as the head of his mafia, i will have him avenged


On Friday August 26th, 2005, Six-Out (1823) writes:
Truth. And those damn mexicans get paid a copious amount of grass and water. Prepare to die.


On Friday August 26th, 2005, Rain In The Willows (855) writes:
Why am I not suprised?


On Friday August 26th, 2005, Jay Jii (336) writes:
Ah, a little revision and this could qualify as your "Dawn of Man" entry. Six-Out is actually god.


On Saturday August 27th, 2005, Ashlar (257) writes:
i totally agree with you...only cuz i think six is too damn adorable ;P


On Friday August 26th, 2005, peril_notion (123) writes:
The poor mexicans *cries*


On Friday August 26th, 2005, AniDayz (1281) writes:
truth hurts eh?;). this is fabulous. [i love you anyway jon.*]


On Friday August 26th, 2005, Serenity (600) writes:
And there it is, the long awaited answer to the famous question. :P lmao


On Friday August 26th, 2005, indefined (713) writes:
i fucking knew it.



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Printed from www.DarkPoetry.com/dp/10147/67784 on Sunday September 07th, 2008 12:56 AM

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