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"MOVIE NEWS... Russel Crowe stars in Deep Shit" by TheBardOfBlasphemy

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DISCLAIMER - No actors were harmed in the making of this article.


Many should well know by now that our favourite* actor, Russel Crowe, has got himself in a spot of legal bother following a "phone-rage" incident (at least this time he kept his pants on). The gentleman who "received the call" from Russ is suing to the tune of 2.3 million for emotional injuries sustained during a brutal and sustained bout of yelling.

This gentleman's lawsuit has been closely followed by a class action for 2.3 BILLION filed by a large group of people claiming to have suffered emotional injuries while watching Russel's shit films.

Let's be honest... Russel's acting really does suck the hairs off a dog's ball-bag. One out of the two good bits of acting he's managed was on South Park when he acted as himself - except that he was out-acted in that episode by his mate Tugger, who really stole the show.

Russel's only other good performance was on Romper Stomper, where he was the leader of a gang of Neo-Nazis in Australia. This performance shouldn't be counted as acting however, as the movie was actually a documentary about Russel's life before he became a shit actor.

Needless to say, Russel is looking forward to becoming jail-bait. He's been hanging out for an ass-pounding for a some time now.
















* - favourite, that is, for a humiliating public execution



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If you [Log In] as a member you can discuss this work with others

On Thursday August 25th, 2005, AniDayz (1281) writes:
youve succefully humored me on many counts---your witty ability and creative collaboration[s] are nothing to be discounted. thankyou for being so fucking fabulous*


On Sunday August 14th, 2005, ONEANDLONELY (138) writes:
Don't knock my favorite Prima-donna. Remember "La Confidential"


On Tuesday August 9th, 2005, Railway_Butterfly (464) writes:
You know who's a better actor than Russel Crowe? Kevin Spacey. You know who else? Johnny Depp. Johnny Depp is better than virtually the entirety of bloody hollywood..


On Tuesday August 9th, 2005, Six-Out (1824) writes:
Except he ruined Willy Wonka....and almost every movie he's ever been in.


On Tuesday August 9th, 2005, Six-Out (1824) writes:
Heh, it's great how people judge him without knowning him. And it's great how anyone can sue him for whatever they want. People are a bunch of pussies.


On Tuesday August 9th, 2005, Dancing_Monkey (1825) writes:
Well .. He's not the best actor there is. Heh, I dont mind him tho..


On Tuesday August 9th, 2005, redtearswhitesnow (90) writes:
see i told you he was GOD.


On Tuesday August 9th, 2005, redtearswhitesnow (90) writes:
Russel Crowe is GOD


On Tuesday August 9th, 2005, ApathysKiss (463) writes:
death to atheism!


On Tuesday August 9th, 2005, redtearswhitesnow (90) writes:
Fine.Death to everything..BUT Russel Crowe.


On Tuesday August 9th, 2005, ApathysKiss (463) writes:
he's a dick


On Tuesday August 9th, 2005, redtearswhitesnow (90) writes:
But hes a funny dick.Who else goes around throwning phones at people?


On Tuesday August 9th, 2005, ApathysKiss (463) writes:
a godly dick


On Tuesday August 9th, 2005, ApathysKiss (463) writes:
hahahahahahaha bard you tell it well, he's a big jerk, but i actually thought he was great in gladiator, then again he should have been deprived of that oscar 'cause he thinks he's god now.


On Tuesday August 9th, 2005, redtearswhitesnow (90) writes:
Holy shit this is funny.



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