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"SCIENCE NEWS... why men like boobs" by TheBardOfBlasphemy

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We've known about it since time began... even before the hair started falling off of them about five million years ago. Men like boobs. Boys like tits. Fags like buttsex. More on that later.

Now scientists have discovered genetic data to back up the man-boob theory. It's called the Y-chromosome and the implications are that whoever has one really badly wants to grope, stroke, squeeze and fondle those sweet succulent boobies until the sticky white stuff squirts into my underpants and makes me want to start doing my own laundry for no reason in particular, thanks mum.

The scientists' "thorns in the (back)side" of this theory are the afore-mentioned butt-jabbing boys who have Y-chromosomes but seem to deny their inherent boob-cravings.

Scientists have postulated that this conundrum is due to external environmental factors such as:
1. Being dropped on their heads as babies
2. Being forced to play with Barbie dolls (tm)
3. Not watching Rambo (tm) as a kid, and instead watching faggy crap like Mary Poppins (tm)
4. Being fed lies like "Hey, girls have rights too, you know..."

Needless to say, we scientists here at Blasphemedia will continue our arduous and time consuming research* into this matter.

























* - Research may or may not involve staring at copious amounts of porn.



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If you [Log In] as a member you can discuss this work with others

On Monday October 29th, 2007, Zen (631) writes:
funny.


On Tuesday January 2nd, 2007, WinterGrave (337) writes:
lol, i spell good


On Tuesday January 2nd, 2007, WinterGrave (337) writes:
wow, that was funny. reading everyone eslses comments was funny to.lol.~~~Grave


On Monday June 12th, 2006, dp_whipping_girl (406) writes:
ummmm...i'm with paper stars; ~pf


On Thursday June 8th, 2006, Astra Dei (645) writes:
wow.... time in my life i can never get back...


On Friday October 14th, 2005, shadowsinthelight (211) writes:
"Why did God give women boobs?"....."It gives men something to look at while women are talking." Peter Griffen


On Friday October 14th, 2005, elisa (2035) writes:
The Socrates of Stewie Lane..........truly the Phat Bastard of Philosophy;) heh heh heh heh heh heh


On Friday October 14th, 2005, shadowsinthelight (211) writes:
"I must be an ass-man, because all my friends keep telling me, 'You are an ass, man.'" Rodney Dangerfield


On Friday October 14th, 2005, Nail Bunny (229) writes:
that's fucking hilarious, amazing. Ps.-if you need help with the "reserch"...


On Monday October 3rd, 2005, AHHH (243) writes:
1, 2, 3, 4, what awful awful things these are. i feel bad for those who these have happened to.


On Saturday August 27th, 2005, Ashlar (257) writes:
hahaha funny....had a good laugh and enjoyed it very much....


On Saturday August 27th, 2005, TheBardOfBlasphemy (473) writes:
This page is not an open forum to debate the topic of groups being degraded by me. Any more pointless comments will be deleted.


On Saturday August 27th, 2005, elisa (2035) writes:
lol.....i'm roll'n AND my side hurts.......i love a good 'Fuck it' way to be;)


On Saturday August 27th, 2005, ApathysKiss (463) writes:
lmao


On Saturday August 27th, 2005, TheBardOfBlasphemy (473) writes:
Homosexuals may or may not find this offensive. If they do... tough. There's a lot of stuff being posted that certain people might find offensive. No-one's forcing anyone to read anything.


On Friday August 26th, 2005, lollipoplips (110) writes:
funny shit man, so it made me laugh!.....:0)


On Friday August 26th, 2005, Liz (407) writes:
I really dislike the fact that you have to bash homosexuals in order to prove the your point that women's bodies are objects. Can't you stick to degrading just one group?


On Saturday August 27th, 2005, elisa (2035) writes:
'Fags like buttsex'....he's right, which is why gay guys bash women ALL the time...women are their competition so they act like two-faced assholes when they get jealous by picking at womens self esteem.


On Friday August 26th, 2005, TheBardOfBlasphemy (473) writes:
actually, i would contend that the only group i have degraded by writing this article is myself. Screw the fags... other boys do.


On Saturday August 27th, 2005, stormtalk (909) writes:
gays and women are basically the same thing, so he actually did stick to one group... hmmm bard, does that make you gay?


On Saturday August 27th, 2005, stormtalk (909) writes:
p.s. anyone who takes me seriously has downe syndrome


On Saturday August 27th, 2005, elisa (2035) writes:
lol...down syndrome....but women and gays are not 'alike'.....women ARE women...gays are just doing a VERY bad imitation of a women on PMS flapping around like a fish out of water......it's insulting...they have women envy:)


On Tuesday August 23rd, 2005, Grim_Sorrow (87) writes:
lol... whatever man... I fail to understand this interest in a womans mamory's


On Friday August 19th, 2005, l mo (63) writes:
And this is the conclusion I have come to -- All men are perverted perverts.


On Friday August 19th, 2005, l mo (63) writes:
wow, i just noticed how dumb that sounds "perverted perverts". lets just say you can take your pick out of the two....


On Saturday August 27th, 2005, stormtalk (909) writes:
'perverted' is one of those words like 'unnatural' that actually means pretty much nothing


On Saturday August 20th, 2005, TheBardOfBlasphemy (473) writes:
haha... and just look at how many LOVED reading this... i rest my case (and somehow prove yours simultaneously)


On Friday August 19th, 2005, Lotophagi (451) writes:
*realisation dawns* lol, good luck with further research, I wish you fruitful results and neverending questions to ensure a long future in this field of questioning.


On Sunday August 14th, 2005, SilentStalker (1360) writes:
...after many years of walking the streets and searching the internet, I've come to the conclusion that I'm not a breast-man...my eyes tend to focus on the waist level...


On Sunday August 14th, 2005, SilentStalker (1360) writes:
...not that I wouldn't stare if they happened to be showing; I just wouldn't stare as long as most other guys would...


On Saturday August 27th, 2005, stormtalk (909) writes:
homo


On Saturday August 27th, 2005, TheBardOfBlasphemy (473) writes:
lol


On Saturday August 27th, 2005, elisa (2035) writes:
lol


On Sunday August 14th, 2005, ONEANDLONELY (138) writes:
Lest we not forget: legs, ass, _ussy.


On Monday August 8th, 2005, Sharon Rose (639) writes:
meh..boobs is for babies...further proof men are big babies...


On Monday August 22nd, 2005, NikesRain (1503) writes:
lmao excellent assessment


On Monday August 8th, 2005, King_Crazy_Dave (421) writes:
whats boobs?


On Monday August 8th, 2005, elisa (2035) writes:
a sweet rack is the gift that keeps on given.....*looks down at sweet rack*.........yup;) ~oo~


On Monday August 8th, 2005, suicideseason (2145) writes:
Why do men like asses?


On Monday August 8th, 2005, Drea (937) writes:
hmmm because they need a place to put their beers?


On Monday August 8th, 2005, suicideseason (2145) writes:
Lol...but there are other reasons,silly vixen.


On Monday August 8th, 2005, braindead_poet (581) writes:
asses are like a nice set of tits on the lower back, something to grip, grope and play with while hitting it from behind. *tears in the eyes* it's such a beautiful thing..


On Monday August 8th, 2005, Drea (937) writes:
I'm a chick and I love boobs. mmmmmboobs


On Thursday August 11th, 2005, Rain In The Willows (858) writes:
hell yes.


On Monday August 8th, 2005, Choronzon (235) writes:
mmmm boobies


On Monday August 8th, 2005, braindead_poet (581) writes:
...mary poppins was a drug-culture subliminal messaging hype, and it was the shit in its own right.... rambo fucking sucked, bro.... keep it original with the old school war stories.... but with all this said, i love tits like a fat kid loves oreo cookies


On Monday August 8th, 2005, Lab Rat (327) writes:
hooray for boobies?


On Monday August 8th, 2005, ApathysKiss (463) writes:
hahahahahahahaha, bard, is this really true? which new scientist issue was this from hahahaha. Being fed lies like "Hey, girls have rights too, you know..." i wonder who came up with that. nobel prize for you, bard. haha ~michelle~


On Monday August 8th, 2005, Sticky Kitty (321) writes:
*Smiles* This was sweet. -Kitty



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